Recently I found myself battling with indecisiveness. This isn’t new, it shows up every once in a while and I recognised it as my old friend.
I was irritated because I hadn’t felt this way in quite a while, I’m in the middle of a fairly large design project which so far has gone like clockwork, hence time is not in abundance.
I took sometime out to journal about how I was feeling- journalling is medicine to me, when I reach an impossible place I grab my journal and a pen that glides freely on paper, shut my bedroom door and start to write.
Here’s what was uncovered.
I had fallen prey (once more) to information overload. Although I had a plan which was logical and well thought out, I had started to pick up additional points with each day that passed. I became sidetracked with OPI (Other People’s Information). It was easy to be blindsided because the information that was filtering in was related to the task at hand, so I interpreted that to mean it should be received. Wrong.
I sometimes place other people’s viewpoints above mine. Does this happen to you? You are busy being a sounding board to a friend, she shares a new discovery that would help her on her journey, she suggests you try it too. You are impressed and immediately you feel you will lose out of you don’t jump in and take up her offer. Trouble is we are all unique; our thought processes, ideas and imaginations are tailored to fit our gifts and personalities. It would be akin to buying a newly advertised brand of painting brush because your friend the artist has one, when in reality you’re a writer, what you need is a pen, not a paintbrush.
The other reason I fell into this rut was due to a lack of boundaries. If we don’t set boundaries on our minds, other ideas and plans are free to come and go as they please. They get entangled with the original plan and you end up confused and unable to make a decision.
Finally I discovered that doubt in one’s own unique abilities can lead to us abandoning our intention in favour of others’. A personality trait which falls prey to this is people pleasing. If you are a people pleaser, which is an accessory to warm, sensitive and caring personality, there is a risk of laying down your thoughts and taking up that of the person you’re trying to please.
The solution?
Get into the habit of ‘digging deep’. I am a fan of Shaun T of the Insanity Workout fame. Notice I said fan, not avid participant? Currently I’m on the Focus T25 programme which encourages you to exercise like mad for 25 minutes non-stop. You chose from a range of exercises that are based on the area you want to focus on. One of Shaun’s mantra if you like is “dig deeper”. I usually respond with, there’s nothing there! I have dug and I can’t find any strength to carry on. Still, I can’t argue that there is a truth to digging deeper. If you find yourself seeking the opinions of others before searching within you for the truth, you haven’t dug at all. Dig deep within you first for the solution for the answer lies within you. If it wasn’t the case, you would never have come across the problem as you journeyed on your path. As I mentioned, one way I dig deeper is by writing. I write until the answer appears on paper. I start with a series of questions & answers and don’t stop until I get to the bottom of it all. Meditation is another way you can dig deeper as well as simply getting away from it all.
