Chris Rock at the Oscars

Chris Rock had the one of the most anticipated monologues… pretty much EVER. With all the controversy surrounding #OscarSoWhite, Chris Rock took it to the next level… like only he can.

I counted at least 15 people in that montage – I’m here at the Academy Awards – otherwise known as the white People’s Choice Awards. If they nominated the host, I wouldn’t get this job. You’d all be watching Neil Patrick Harris now.

And then some…

This is the world’s craziest Oscars because of all this controversy because of no black nominees. People keep telling me ‘Chris you should quit’ – how come it’s always unemployed people telling me to quit? So I thought about it really hard, but I thought they’re going to hold it anyway and the last thing I need is to lose another job to Kevin Hart.

In the in memoriam package, it will just be black people shot by the cops on the way to the movies.

He didn’t bat an eye and said what needed to be said…

If you want black nominees every year, you need black categories, like best black friend… ‘and the winner for the 18th year in a row is Wanda Sykes’. There weren’t black nominees in the ’60s – why didn’t we protest then? Because we had more important things to protest about.

He even took on sexism…

They said you can’t just ask women what dress they’re wearing. They ask the men more because men are always wearing the same thing. If George Clooney wore a turquoise suit with a swan coming out of his ass, people would saying ‘What are you wearing?’