Is there such a thing as Pre-Empty Nest Syndrome – the calm before the ENS storm??? I’m feeling a little lost as a mother at the moment ……..
My eldest is working, not in the job that will determine her career (and I’m so glad that she is aware of that fact) but she’s finding her feet and her mission in life and that’s a good thing.
My youngest, who always knew what she wanted to do from the moment she could walk and talk, has just completed 3yrs studying Musical Theatre at Italia Conti and has graduated.
I now have no children in education and the next stages of their lives are unfolding and it’s very challenging to watch.
I’m not sure if I’m needed anymore – is that a selfish thing to admit???
In examining my words, thoughts and emotions I realised that our children will always be our children, and at some point in their lives they are going to leave what they initially knew as home and will live their own lives and create their own home AND AS PARENTS IT’S OUR RESPONSIBILITY to let them go and be who they are destined to be.
Holding on to them for our own needs is unfair, it’s selfish and it will stunt their growth.
If I’m feeling like this now, how will I handle Empty Nest Syndrome???
Some things that you can do help get through Empty Nest Syndrome are:
1) Talk and cry (it’s OK): talk with your spouse and others about the kids, finances, and other issues that your may be worried about. It will take time to feel better.
2) Stay in contact with your kids, just not too much. Call your kid no more than twice per week. You can text a little more often; they may prefer texting.
3) Invite your kids home for big events. Keep them informed of the family calendar. Do not guilt them into coming home.
4) Get busy! This is also a time to do some things on your own, with your spouse, and with others. REMEMBER to keep your partner informed with what you are doing and keep a common calendar.
5) Send your kids stuff: cookies, care packages, articles about their old high school. This will keep them connected. Perhaps they will call you to say thank you?!