Founder of Real Mums Pulpit, Bianca Waithe, says it’s vital that mothers are honest about the difficulties encountered on the journey of motherhood.
Motherhood is a journey that can never be mapped out or truly planned. You never quite know what our little mini mes are going to do next or where our emotions are going to take us.
Life is a funny old thing but it’s something to celebrate. So I decided to capture my thoughts ‘n’ feelings of this wonderful journey called motherhood, revealing the good, great, bad, ugly and, to be totally honest, the outright terrifying!
This is what I crown as the official journal of ‘the real mums pulpit’. Where the truth of this amazing journey will never fail to give you a good old chuckle, and perhaps even make you shed a tear, but most importantly it’ll let you know that all you encounter on your real journey of motherhood is all totally normal!
Nothing prepares you for the changes motherhood brings
In the early stages of my pregnancy, I found that all the glossy mags made motherhood look really easy and lovely, but I rapidly realised that, yes, it was indeed the lovely and most wonderful time of my life. But it was also one of the most terrifying experiences I have ever encountered!
Nobody prepared me for the real life emotional roller coasters and five minute mini-breakdowns that regularly happened on a daily basis or just the practical on-the-ground stuff I needed to know about my body, breastfeeding, being a new mum and post-baby sex! So it left me thinking one day, “am I normal?” and “is it normal to feel like this?”
I was talking online to a fellow mummy mate, and there we were sharing tips about all things mummy and I suddenly realised how vital and important it is to be honest and real about your emotions, struggles and weaknesses when you’re a mum. It helps you to appreciate and enjoy the things you do well.
It’s time to be honest with others – and ourselves
After two pregnancies, a double miscarriage and the adventures of embarking on my own ‘real’ journey of motherhood, I’m a proud mummy with two beautiful children and a much loved stepson, who have all taught me a simple formula to being a mummy: Happy Mummy = Happy Child.
Years later it still works and works well. Why? Because I learnt how to talk openly and honestly.
There really should be a glossy mag dedicated to the real stories of real mums, the kind that are honest and open and make you realise that you are normal!
Motherhood is indeed something to be celebrated and enjoyed but it has taken me the best part of four years to realise that the only way this will ever happen is if we are open and honest with ourselves and others.
The kind of honesty that makes you know its ok to say the truth when people say, “How are you?” without saying, “Yeah everything is great”, when really you’re thinking baby is great but I am sinking in a pool of very deep water.
Any woman can be a mummy but it takes a real and honest one to be a mother
No matter how much money you have in the bank, how great your support network is or how perfect your little bundle of joy, nothing prepares you for the change that motherhood brings emotionally, mentally and physically.
Becoming a mummy from the glossy magazines is not important. Becoming a mummy based on the perfection that you see in others is not important. But becoming a mummy that accepts that this is a time of change and a journey that is less than smooth but ever so wonderful, will allow you to both accept and enjoy this beautiful time, this beautiful gift, this beautiful you.
The beautiful you who has been woman enough to answer questions honestly without feeling ashamed and brave enough to wave the white flag and accept help without feeling embarrassed, will walk the path of motherhood and enjoy it.
They say nothing worth having comes easy, and I agree. But in my experience I have learnt that behind every happy baby, is a real mum who is open and honest.
Any woman can be a mummy but it takes a real and honest one to be a mother. So go ahead and celebrate the low days, because for every one of them one hundred great ones will follow and one day everything will just fit into place and life will suddenly make perfect sense. Celebrate this journey and celebrate you because you’re doing a great job!
Proud mummy B x