We’ve all struggled with moments when we don’t feel very good… about ourselves. From being afraid to show that bathing suit body to not feeling very happy with some of our choices, self doubt can cloud our judgment and impair our present.
Self doubt can suck you into a pit of despair, keep you from realizing your potential, cause you to procrastinate, and make you live in fear of all of your choices. Worse yet, it can cause you to feel like giving up on yourself.
Been there, done that, burned the t-shirt.
Truly there isn’t anything more important than how you feel about yourself. If you don’t like you, then why would anyone else? More importantly, if you don’t believe in yourself what do you have to give to others? Here are some ways to get that self perception in check.
Make a ME list
I know it sounds counterintuitive, but writing down 5 things that you like about yourself is NOT being egocentric. It’s being real. Most of us have a hard time even finding one or two things to like about ourselves. Finding 5 things can be hard. Start small.
- I like that I was kind to another person this afternoon.
- I like the way my hair looks today.
- I like that I took the time to listen to someone today.
- I like that I spent quality time with my children after school.
- I like the way I connect with people through my job.
The nice thing about writing them down is that you can go back and reflect and change your perspective anytime you want.
Let It Go…
Will this <insert problem here> still be important 5 years from now? One year? A couple months? Next week?
If the answer is NO then Congratulations! You’ve just realized that you can overcome the small stuff! (a lot of our worry is small stuff) If you answered YES then you can make a plan of action to deal with whatever is thrown your way. You’ve dealt with ‘stuff’ before… you can certainly do it again. You’re stronger than you know. Now that the “small stuff” is out of the way, you can actually focus on the “big stuff”.
Quit trying to be perfect.
Perfectionism is a dangerous obsession. It can paralyze you and keep your from doing your best. This leads to procrastination… “If I can’t do it perfectly right now, maybe I can be perfect later.” Thinking that you have to be PERFECT all the time is unrealistic, unmanageable, and utterly unhelpful.
Remember that it’s okay to fail. You wouldn’t expect a two year old to automatically know rocket science would you? Failing is part of the process of learning. It’s about learning to fail… well. Everyone mucks up. Yes… EVERYONE. Think of making mistakes as a learning tool. “This didn’t work so let’s try something different.” Awesome! Now that you know what doesn’t work, you’ve just increased your chances of finding something that will!
Always remember to treat yourself as if you were your own best friend. That’s the key to healthy self esteem. Think… “If my best friend brought this issue to me, what would I say?” And then act accordingly. You’re the only you you’ve got. It’s time to treat yourself well!