…Misunderstandings, Communication and Forgiveness
Why is it that family emotions whether it is love, hate, anger, frustration or joy are so much stronger than the bonds of friends? I know, I know some friends are like family, so let’s class them as family in this case as well. What makes it that we can’t say ‘no’ to some family members even though we know for our own sanity we should? Why is it that some parents feel guilty all the time for the way they have or haven’t brought up their children and therefore allow them to get away with almost anything? What makes one sibling so different from the other?
I truly believe that we are a combination of upbringing, society, DNA and ancestry but also what was happening in and around the womb of the woman you came through at the time of conception and growth. If you were able, have you ever asked your parents what was going on at that time? What did they say? Does it relate to the person you are today?
I am one of 4, 5 or 6 depending on which parent tree we choose and I have asked the question and know that my parents were, thankfully for me, in a great space after previous trauma’s. Plus, being somewhere in the middle they had also formed even better habits by that time, on how to bring up their children.
If you looked back, could you figure out what makes parts of you, you? What about any siblings, what was happening at that time? How has it made them any different than you? It’s interesting isn’t it.
Now what do we do with that information? Sorry so many questions this time! Maybe it will help us to understand someone in our family. Maybe if you did the same thing for your parents or children you can see why they have done or do certain things. Maybe it will open up doors of communication. Maybe it will lead to forgiveness.
In increasing your understanding, do you think it is possible to consciously change any destructive patterns and also continue constructive patterns you may have found which run through your family? Are there better ways of communication upwards, downwards and across your family? Are you the one, people are relying on to be the patriarch or matriarch in your family and pull everyone together?
No family has it altogether, all of the time but are there serious reparations you need to make? Are there things you respectfully need to get off your chest or ask your parent or sibling? Which tribal ties do you need to break in your life, in order to prevent it in the next generation? Do you need to recreate your own emotional strengths and patterns because none were given to you?
Emotions can be used as energy to repair, control, love, hurt, create and destroy family ties. When emotions run high it is a calling card to consciously do something about it. What you do is your choice. How you affect other people is up to you and how they affect you is up to you. Have you given someone enough chances or should you still give them a chance and extend your hand of forgiveness? Hard sometimes isn’t it.