The 40-something mother

There’s a book that has been inside my head and heart for about 13 years, it’s called The 30-Something First-Time Mother and amongst many other books in my head this one’s either going to be written or conducted as a seminar on the subject.

So earlier this week when I read about the ‘Get Britain Fertile’ campaign and Kate Garraway’s thoughts on delayed motherhood, I got to wondering, how must it feel to be a 40-something first time mother?

Kate had her second child at 42, Halle Berry is about to have her second at 46, but I believe both Mariah Carey and Mariella Frostrup became mothers for the first time in their 40s.

Should the 40s be the time to start settling down for the future? Or should we start earlier? When is the right time to switch from arranging parties to play dates? Can we be full on career women and attend Mummy and Me classes?

I became a first time mum in my 30s and though my girls are only three years apart I do remember feeling very different and a lot more tired during my second pregnancy. I wished I’d started the reproductive game a decade earlier.

If I’d started earlier I would have been fitter with a lot more energy and would now have two young ladies by my side in their earlier 20s.  But in my 20s I was busy filling a passport, going to New York every other weekend and spending time in the Caribbean.

There are still mixed feelings about women having babies for the first time in their 40s although the trend has been steadily rising in popularity for the past five years.

It seems motherhood in your 40s has almost become a fashion label, creating the impression that we’re masters at balancing our lives with strong careers, happy partners, and healthy children all whilst looking like we’ve freshly stepped off the cover of Red magazine.

Did you become a first time mother in your 40s?

What is the best decade for a woman to have children?

Is the 40-something first time mother too old?

What about those who have babies in their 50s?

Do you believe there are too many health risks to mother and baby?

Are we pressuring ourselves to keep the work/life balance in check too much?

It’s all up for debate…