Exploring the mother/daughter dynamic

Author Ibitola Ojoye-Adebayo speaks with Angie Greaves about the mother/daughter dynamic and her experiences as a child in Nigeria.

I was quite hesitant about interviewing Ibitola Ojoye-Adebayo as her new book, Acceptance, touches on the very sensitive subject of the mother/daughter dynamic.

It’s an important element of all cultures because it’s not just about culture, it’s also about the human relationship that all mothers attempt to engineer in the hopes that they don’t repeat cycles of pain based on their own upbringing and childhood experiences.

Ibitola is very open about this dynamic and held very little back. There were times I could hear the pain in her voice, but I salute her open-minded endeavours to get over the issues.


I believe her book will touch many and in return we can stop hiding our true feelings, and face facts. Our parents – particularly mothers – only do the best that they can based on what they were taught by their mothers.

It becomes obvious as we become more mature that we live out the strongest emotion that we were enveloped in as children and when we have overcome those hurdles, if there were any, it is then that we choose not to pass that negative emotion over to our children.

This was the essence of Ibitola’s interview. She saw something in herself that she didn’t want to be, she recognised emotions and behaviour patterns that she didn’t want to pass to her daughter.

Our talk was enlightening and refreshing. The mother/daughter relationship is a subject I would dearly love to explore in depth and have been thinking for some time about putting steps in place to conduct a seminar about it. If you’d like to take part please send me an email.

Acceptance is available to buy from Amazon now.

Get in touch with Ibitola Ojoye-Adebayo on Twitter, Facebook and her website.

You can also join Angie Greaves, the founder of Feeling Fab, on Facebook and Twitter.