Honouring your grief

I know there are hearts out there that are hurting. MY heart is hurting. The loss of loved ones, seeing so many people suffering from this virus and what’s it’s doing to the world can be about the most uncomfortable, unhappy, and unfulfilled moments we can bear. So much so that it can be hard to breathe, as if something or someone is sitting right on your chest.

I go from happy to sad and every emotion in between several times a day. It’s more than overwhelming. To read about all these people getting ill, both personally and professionally, is gut-wrenching, It’s hard to stay hopeful and grateful when everything feels upside down. I’m having to remind myself that grieving is a way to honour those we’re missing.

You’re not alone. 

Grieving is a process by which you gain closure and honour whatever it was you were grieving… a loved one, a job, a marriage, loss of freedom, loss of normalcy. It’s like standing on a beach during high tide.

The waves (of grief) knock you to your knees pulling you under… and then receding leaving you exhausted and gasping for air. Each time the waves roll in they get less and less intense, no matter how long it takes. The waves never go away but eventually just wash over your feet as you view the beauty of the ocean that is your loss (whatever that may be). You can appreciate lessons learned and affection and memories that will always be.

grief and loss

Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself permission to feel. It’s okay to function at a less than optimal level for awhile. You may not be able to be quite as productive on the job or care for others in exactly the way you’re accustomed. No one is superhero here; take time to heal and be OKAY with that.

It’s perfectly normal to feel ALL kinds of emotions. It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated, and confused—and ALL these feelings can be really intense. You also may feel nervous about what’s going to happen next. Accept that this WILL get less with time. Heading out into the unknown is downright scary.

You don’t have to be alone. Sharing your feelings with friends and family can help you get through. Consider going to a virtual support group where you can talk to others in similar situations. Keeping to just yourself can raise your stress levels, reduce your concentration, and get in the way of your work, relationships, and health. Don’t be afraid to talk to a professional.

Grief never comes all at once, it hits you in waves. The first knocking you off your feet, the next just a little less intense, and so on until they lap up on your feet at the edge of the abyss. Grief may never go away but can be sweetened with memories of love and light allowing us to grow in ways we never imagined.

Honour your grief as a sign of love and respect. And even if it feels like it’s too much to bear, you will get through this and you’re certainly not alone. Know that the happy always comes back; a little wiser, a little stronger, a little more worn, but always as beautiful.

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