Man Detox

I used to tap into the Steve Harvey Show on YouTube (not so much anymore), the Ask Steve section always churned out questions about finding a good man, churches are universally flooded with women looking for the perfect partner, and on the flip there’s a demographic of women who are accepting that it’s better to be alone than be with someone who makes you feel less than what you’re truly worth. 

Remember that classic scene from the film Girls’ Trip (no not the grapefruit scene!) this one …..

(So powerful that Ryan chose to tell her truth about her marriage and decided to go solo right?)

Is a Man Detox the answer?  Broadcaster Verity Geere gave me a copy of her book, and it is WILD, if you’ve read or are reading it we MUST discuss!

On a personal level, I do love Verity, she has a huge heart and was just looking for love but after a number of failed relationships she decided to ban herself from all sex and romance and I don’t think she’s alone here. I think many of us at some point in our lives have done the same but Verity has publicly acknowledged it.

The chapter that’s caught me the most so far is The Relapse. Tell me you don’t identify with this chapter and I’ll buy you a magnum of champagne!

To break up with someone and ache to have them back… for whatever reason… is an ache we never forget. Maybe we ache for the security, the “same-ness”, the comfort. Sometimes relationships feel like an old glove, comfortable, safe… like home. But when that glove no longers fits – or is itchy – or no longer serves our higher purpose, we find it’s time to buy a new pair of gloves.

Can you relate?

Male, female, young, middle-aged, mature, black, white, Asian, mixed… LOVE is a universal tool and we all crave it in some form. 

We may crave loving feelings, romance, deep deep long-lasting love, or just the urge to have our feelings satisfied, as I’m reading this book I’m feeling and relating to so much more than just “looking for Mr. Right after a number of failed relationships whilst the biological clock is ticking”. 

Sometimes we wish for something and then it happens… but not the way we expect. Chapter 13 was riveting to me. How many times have we tortured ourselves over relationships? Wanting it to be something that we know it cannot be… wanting to make ourselves into something we’re not just to “keep the peace”. Ugh. Been there.

Has Social Media ruined dating? I believe it may be so. I loved what Verity said about how everyone presents a certain way on the internet (hello Snapchat filters!) Do you think we’re being dishonest when we post these smoothed, wrinkle-free, “perfect” images online?

So I’m on the train last Wednesday evening on the way home from work and I’m reading chapter 29 and a lady leans over and asks “oooh what’s that”? 

I show her the front cover, and she starts telling me about her “one that got away”.  Never seen this woman before in my life, don’t know if I’ll ever see her again, but she was totally hooked by the title of this chapter.  Resonate with you? 

Do you fondly remember your first love? Verity’s description was so heartwarming and pure. I remember mine fondly. So many emotions, so much hand sweating (!) and nerves. Thanks for helping me to remember Verity…

I absolutely loved this book. It was real and raw and decidedly filled with equal parts hard truth and laughter. Knowing Verity only added to the depth in which I read this book, and I am so glad I did.

Text messaging, swiping right (or left), the insane world of Bumble and Tinder and Plenty Of Fish (?) and the influence of pornography… it’s a LOT and makes me think of running the other way actually.

For those of you single right now… this is a must-read. Are you dating? What’s different? Are men so much different now? Tell me ALL THE THINGS on Facebook… where the author herself may pop in for a comment or two.