Mother’s Day without Mum

Loss is something that we all experience. Sometimes certain holidays can become excruciating reminders of the loved ones we’ve lost and so dearly miss.

Mother’s Day can be heartbreaking and grim when you’ve lost your Mum.

Dealing with loss can be about the most uncomfortable, unhappy, and unfulfilled moments we can bear. So much so that it can be hard to breathe, as if something or someone is sitting right on your chest.

Grief never comes all at once, it hits you in waves. The first knocking you off your feet, the next just a little less intense, and so on until they lap up on your feet at the edge of the abyss. Grief may never go away completely but can be sweetened with memories of love and light allowing us to grow in ways we never imagined.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain that, in time, can renew you and permit you to move on.

This Mother’s Day there are things you can do to honor the memory of your Mum.mother's day without mum

Tell her stories: Reminisce about sad times, funny times, loving times. Honor her memory by sharing her with your loved ones. Tell your children stories about your Mum when you were a kid. Share her favorite stories about her childhood. She shaped your life in so many ways that she’ll never really be completely gone, living on in your heart and the hearts of everyone she knew.

Write to her: Give her (and yourself) the gift of your words. Tell her everything you need to say, no matter what it is… no filters. You can leave this at mother's day without mumher resting place, or send it to the heavens attached to a balloon, or leave it somewhere that was special to the both of you. The point is remembrance and honoring your feelings as a daughter/son/child.

Buy her a gift: Get her something you know she’d love. Perhaps a gift she always wanted but was unable to buy. Although you can’t actually ‘give’ it to her, the symbolism will honor her and help you feel connected.

The idea is to remember. Allow your mum to still live on in your hearts and in the hearts of your children and your children’s children. Honor your grief, embrace your memories. Know that even though the loss feels crippling especially right now, in time we bounce back; a little wiser, a little stronger, a little more worn, but always as beautiful.

In loving memory of : Carmen Pearletta Grant who’s son is a central part of my life. Daphne Joyce Parker aka Daffodil who was a true mother figure in every way, and with who’s daughters I share a 44 year friendship.  Simone Darroux, a mother who left a daughter and friend who I have treasured since the age of 11 and last but not least Sister Wickham who’s daughter I have been friends with since the age of 13.  Beautiful friends from beautiful mothers.